My journey through pregnancy and loss was a path marked with overlooked signals and missed chances for a timely intervention that had the potential to save my pregnancy and, ultimately, my son Bryson.
After trying to conceive for about five years, I finally became pregnant in June of 2015. We were overjoyed and felt with every fiber of our being that parenthood was truly about to happen for us.
During the first few months, I experienced some bleeding, which I was told by my doctor was actually normal for the first trimester. She wasn’t alarmed in the slightest, so I tried my best not to worry. Despite this, the fears crept in.
Carrying the hopes and dreams typical of any expectant mother, I bore an underlying concern for my son, who we had named Bryson.
This was exacerbated when the bleeding continued well into the fourth month. At this time frame, bleeding was not typical, and I felt was certainly a cause for concern. I communicated these reservations to my healthcare provider, which then triggered her recommendation for me to remain on bedrest for several weeks on end. Fortunately this did help stop the bleeding.
Beyond bedrest, there were no other proactive or preventative measures taken by my doctor to investigate any potential further issues and I continued along with my pregnancy as usual. I firmly believe that more comprehensive ultrasounds might have revealed the underlying problem—an incompetent cervix.
This rare condition, where the cervix weakens and dilates prematurely, affects about 1 percent of pregnant women, yet it was an invisible threat to my pregnancy that went unrecognized until it was too late.
The critical moment came on November 14, 2015, during my routine anatomy scan, which is done around the 20th week of pregnancy and looks for any fetal abnormalities. The pregnant woman’s reproductive organs were also reviewed during this scan, so my cervix was in plain view. And that’s when the ultrasound technician made a startling discovery: my cervix was already dilated by 2 cm.
She immediately paused the scanning and left the room to call the doctor on call. I was left alone and anxious in the room until the nurse came back, but she still did not say anything to me besides that the doctor would have to review the scan and would explain everything to me later.
After the doctor reviewed the scan, he then gave me the news that I had to call a family member to pick me up urgently and rush me to the ER. The gravity of the situation struck me instantly. How could this be happening? I told them about the bleeding—why didn’t they do anything?
What will happen to my baby?
Once I was admitted at the hospital, they positioned me overnight in a tilted state, making an effort to delay delivery long enough to allow for the possibility of placing a cervical stitch called a cerclage, a procedure that could have preserved the pregnancy if it had been performed earlier.
Throughout the night after being placed in the tilted state, the nurse encouraged me to rest. But I couldn’t—all I could think about was what would happen when the doctor checked me the next morning. I was praying to God to save my son at all costs.
The following day, November 15, 2015, brought the most heartrending moment of my life. As the doctor examined my cervix, my water broke and I went into labor.
I delivered Bryson prematurely, and he did not survive.
It was then that I was formally diagnosed with an incompetent cervix—a diagnosis that came devastatingly late. The medical team explained that a cervical stitch, typically placed between 12-14 weeks of pregnancy, could have assisted in maintaining the pregnancy to full term. Unfortunately, for me, that opportunity was missed.
After I delivered my son Bryson. I was able to keep him in the room for a full night and enjoy the little time I had with him. My family and I were able to capture pictures that I now cherish so much as that is the only memory I have to share.
Recovering for me was very hard, especially mentally, as Bryson was my first pregnancy and I had so many dreams for him—and for us. Physically, I was able to recover as normal, bbut emotionally, to this day, it is something that still hurts very much.
Reflecting on my journey through pregnancy and the profound loss I endured, I’ve come to understand the critical importance of proactive and thorough prenatal care. The tragedy of losing Bryson, a heartbreak that resonates deeply with me, has underscored the potential impact of early detection and intervention in pregnancy. I now have two beautiful daughters and, with the help of the cervical stitch, I was able to carry them both to full term.
I share my story with the hope of enlightening and encouraging others to advocate for comprehensive medical attention during their pregnancy journey. A key lesson I learned is the significance of a specific diagnostic test, a transvaginal ultrasound, which I believe could have dramatically changed the course of my pregnancy. This ultrasound is vital for diagnosing conditions like an incompetent cervix, which I unknowingly had.
If this test had been conducted earlier in my pregnancy, it might have detected the weakening of my cervix in time to consider preventative measures like a cervical cerclage, a procedure where stitches are placed in the cervix to keep it closed, potentially allowing the pregnancy to reach full term.
My experience, though marked by loss, underscores the need for heightened awareness and vigilance in prenatal care, and the profound difference early medical intervention can make.
